Welcome to my blog

In this blog I will write about everything that has to do with being a mum and a woman. It will be about my personal experiences as well as about things that I find interesting and which I want to share. It will also be about my faith in God. Please let me know that you visited my blog, by posting a comment.

Friday, May 27, 2016

The stairs

I have never been in favor of smacking children, even though the bible mentions it. But unfortunately I can’t say that my girls never have gotten a slap, but it has really been more reserved for special circumstances like when they kept going on and on with wrong behaviour despite warnings or they had done something absolutely crazy or dangerous or other situations where I felt really desperate enough, like them making loads of noise in the night when we were staying in someone elses house.
Unfortunately, children are children and they don’t always listen or sometimes do something naughty or bad. 
When Ixora was 2 and we were living on our own, I started to use the time out method. When she repeatedly would not listen, I would send her in time out in the hall. Then we moved to Ireland and moved in with others and in cases like that I don’t feel that I can use that method well because the child might protest and cry and that would make me feel really bad that I would disturb someone in the house. So I don’t feel that I can discipline well around others.  And later I did not think about this method anymore.  Years later I happened to see  a few episodes of Super nanny and I liked her ideas of time out and over the years I have tried it a few times but I never really kept using it.
The time out method also came up when I talked to a parenting expert but again I was living with other people at that stage, so I could not really use it.
At a certain stage, I started using a countdown when the girls did not want to listen. I then say : ’ I ‘m counting till 5. ‘ and then I started counting  ; 1, 2, 3,…….And for some reason, that really started to work.  I used it a lot and it helped me get the required result: make them stop doing what I don’t want them to do and/or start listening to me.
We are now living on our own and a while back, I started to use the stairs as a place for time out.
It has turned out to be a good way to ‘punish’  the girls. It especially helped me a lot when I would be really angry. When you are angry, you have to be careful that you don’t react by slapping.  But I noticed that the stairs really helped me.  Sending them to the stairs just felt enough. There would be no problem for them ‘sitting their time out ‘ either, because they knew that they had done something wrong and that you were angry at them and they didn’t mind sitting in time out to think things over and to get ready to repent and say sorry.
Because I guess that is really what it is about. That the child gets the chance to calm down, think things over and then gets to discuss the issue with the parent, say sorry and receive forgiveness from the parent. All with the hope that they will learn from it and that the next time, they won’t do it again or that they will listen more quickly.
The girls are getting more used to the stairs now since I am using it more and more.

I use it for instance when certain rules are not being followed. Yovannah sometimes has a hard time to control her emotions and then she can scream really loud and throw a chair on the floor.
Then I say; ‘You know that that is not allowed  in here’ and then I send her to sit on the stairs.
So I am not really using the same method from super nanny. I also normally don’t leave them on the stairs for a long time. It is a correction method, a principle : ‘You are not following the rules, so you need to live with the consequences.’
I lately added other forms of punishment though, like no dessert or not allowing them on play dates for a while.  I see that it seems to help, so I’m really pleased with that. Slaps are really very rare and even though some people might think differently about slapping, I personally feel better disciplining this way ; through time outs and taking certain privileges away.

What is your favourite method to discipline your children ? What works best for you ?

I would love to hear from you.


Thursday, May 26, 2016

Letter to my 17 year old self.

Today's optional post topic is a letter to your younger self. So I decided to write a letter to my 17 year old self.

Dear 17 year old me,

I know that a girl from your school with your type of hair, has recently put those ‘curly perm’ curls in her hair and after  chemically straightening your hair for years, you also want the same curls.
Don’t do it. You will end up in a hair salon where they will tell you that you can’t get the curls unless you cut all the hair off that is previously straightened and even though you don’t want that , the hair dresser will tell you, that she will start cutting your hair to make it even and she will cut so much off that everyone thinks that you might as well let her cut off the straightened hair because she has cut a lot of your hair already.  So she will do that and you will get the curly perm that you desired so much.
But it is a very short do, so it will end up looking nothing like the curls of that girl. You will not like it. And your hair will never be as long as it was back then. You will find out much later that you have natural curls that you love and you will keep your natural hair for years for that reason, even though there are times in which you yearn for straight hair but you are too afraid to lose your natural curls, so you will stick with them and only now and then use a flat iron to straighten your hair. Your choice for natural hair will also be because you hope that your hair will grow long again and even longer than it has ever been but you will not make enough effort to give your hair the extra care that it needs, to retain length, so it will not work much.

Me with natural curls a few years ago

You have done well in passing from the HAVO and because you have math and physics, you believe that your best choice in study is physiotherapy. Think about it some more. It will be nothing like you expected, really very medical, because you need  to know all names of bones and muscles. You will not like it and will not be successful in completing it. You will decide to a totally different study  after 1 year and move back to Suriname where you first do a preparation year at the university because you need to have the subject Economy to be allowed to study Law.
You will pass this and start Law but will never finish it but it will always keep you  thinking; maybe one day I will still finish my Law studies.  It is something your late father always wanted you to finish and you told him that you would.  And you will never give up on the possibility to do it because your dad also got a university degree when he was in his sixties and he received the title of professor in Dutch literature.
You will end up finishing some other education which you never expected and which I am sure your dad would’ve been proud of too. You end up studying Childcare and Early Childhood Education when you will be a lot older. But it will change your life so much and you will desire to even study further in this area.
I know you think that you are ready to live on your own, while you start your physiotherapy study but you are not. You don’t have a choice because your mother decides to move back to Suriname because of sickness of her partner. You also want to be close to the school, where you are studying so you don't have to travel far, so you decide to move to a city where you hardly know anybody. But living on your own will not be as great and easy as you thought.  You will not have a tv and you will not have any nice house mates (only two strange guys) and not a lot of good contacts where you live. Even though you do have some friends, you will feel quite lonely in your room and you will not like being alone so much and this will stop you from really being able to study like you should.  When you move back to Suriname, where you start your law study , studying goes much better for you. You only go live on your own again when you are much older and then you can handle it better.
Don’t worry about growing up and being independent, everybody does that on his own pace and you will get there on your time. Even though you are 17, inside you are still a little girl. Don't worry, you will end up just fine.


Current me.

What would you like to say to your younger self ?
I would love to hear from you.


Wednesday, May 25, 2016

What Kids Wore Wednesday; Pink love

Today I am sharing an outfit that Nevaeh was wearing a few days ago.

In the below pictures, Nevaeh is wearing a pink top with long sleeves with the face of a dog on it.
We got this on sale in the Dutch shop HEMA and she loves it. I also think that this top is very cute.
She is wearing the top with a denim skirt from NEXT, which I really love.
I love clothing from NEXT. They have cute clothing for kids in very good quality but it is not really cheap so when we were living in Ireland, I used to look forward to the NEXT Summer Sale where you can buy clothes with big discounts. This skirt is an item from the Summer sale from a few years ago. I especially love how NEXT uses a lot of denim but then they decorate it with colour, like on this skirt, I really fell in love with this skirt, which I initially got for Yovannah but has now been passed on to Nevaeh. There are a lot of cute drawings on it, for instance an orange smiling sun.
The skirt is combined with leggings in hot pink with some glitters on them.
We got them on sale in the Dutch shop WIBRA. They are from a very stretchy material. 

Top : HEMA

Skirt: NEXT

Leggings: WIBRA

I hope that you liked this WKWW post and if you are sharing a similar post on your blog, I would love to see it. Please leave your link in the comments below.

Linking up with The Pleated Poppy.


Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Our Summer Bucket list

The girls will be in school for a couple more weeks but Summer is coming soon (here in Holland it is not officially Summer yet) and I thought it would be a nice idea to start thinking about what we are going to do this Summer.

So here is our Summer Bucket list for this year, so far.
I chose 20 things to put on the list.

1 Visit the beach

2 Go to an amusement park.

3 Have a barbeque.

4 Get small braids plaited.

5 Play with water balloons.

6 Have a water fest with watose er guns, water slide etc.

7 Have a picnic in the park

8 Do a karaoke night.

9 Go camping and make smores.

10 Make a yummy treat and a kids cocktail.

11 Make popsicles.

12 Fly a kite.

13 Make drawings with sidewalk chalk.

14 Dance in the rain.

15 Go to the movies.

16 Go swimming.

17 Grow flowers and veggies in our garden.

18 Go to a kids farm.

19 Go fruit picking.

20 Eat watermelon

What are your plans for the summer ?

I would love to hear from you.


Monday, May 23, 2016

Music Monday: Worthy of it all

I am a little tired today and I  had a headache earlier, so today I just want to share one of my favourite songs.
I really love to sing but mostly I love to worship God. It gives so much joy and nothing beats entering into His presence through worship. This is really one of those songs that makes it easy to do that. I really love both the melody, as well as the lyrics. I think the first time I heard it and loved it, it was the Romanian version of it, which I really love too.
This is a song which really lifts God up and encourages us to give Him what He deserves : all our praise and worship from the bottom of our heart.

Let everything that has breath praise Him with everything that's within him. He so deserves it !! 

Worthy of it all

I hope that you are blessed through this song.

Love and blessings,

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Wish list

The topic for the BEDM challenge yesterday was ;lists.
I thought that it would be nice to make a wish list of things that I would like to get.
So today I will  be sharing a few things that would be on my wish list.

1 A dish washer

For some reason I don’t really prioritize doing my dishes lately. They are mostly left to do last. It also seems to take ages to do the dishes by hand. A dishwasher would be so handy. It would really save so much time. Plus my sink is currently clogged. I would not have that problem if I'd have a dishwasher.

2  A bicycle

I know walking is a good way to exercise but lately I am really longing to have a bicycle.
When we have a little further to go here on Ijburg, I usually let the smallies go by bike.
So they don’t always have to walk, but I still do. It is not very handy either, especially when the girls decide to go ahead of me, like today. I was already tired so I did not run after them, but a concerned lady apparently was waiting with them before the traffic lights. I think that she maybe wanted to make sure that they would not cross the street on their own. Well, so it would just be handy, much quicker and I would not get so tired if I had a bike. I saw an advertisement at the supermarket the other day . Someone was selling a bike. So who knows, I might have one soon.

3 A photo camera.

I’m not very lucky when it comes to photo camera’s I suppose.  My girls broke the last one by dropping it.  I do value them a lot. I would much easier use a digital photo camera than the photo camera of my phone. I would be able to take better pictures with it. Especially now that the weather is quite sunny, I can somehow not see anything on my phone. A couple of pictures have not come out right because of that. I would for instance then think that I was taking a picture of Yovannah standing in a front of a pony, smiling, while she is brushing him. Then to find out that I only have a picture of the top that she was wearing. haha

What would be on your wish list ? I would love to hear from you.


Saturday, May 21, 2016

Shopping haul kids H & M

When the warm weather started, I promised the smallies to get them flip flops. Since we mostly shop at H &M, we looked online and the girls decided that they both wanted the flip flops with a cute butterfly on them and -you can guess it- a bunny and a cat on them.

I realised this month that Nevaeh really did not have that many clothes and from the ones that she does have, a couple of them are stained, damaged or too small/ tight. She really has grown a lot. There is only a small difference in height between her and Yovannah and this means that more and more they are seen as twins now. 
Both her and Yovannah didn't really have shoes for church or to wear with skirts and dresses either. They would normally wear boots or rain boots with their dresses. Only Nevaeh had gotten some other shoes for her birthday. So I decided since we are getting some extra money this month, to take the girls to H & M to get the flipflops, one of the 4,99 dresses, a 4,99 t-shirt and a pair of shoes.
We went to the shop yesterday after swimming lessons but since we did not have a lot of time left before the shop closed, we did not get the chance to get any dresses.

In this post, I am sharing what the smallies chose. Yovannah also asked to get her an outfit for her birthday so we got that too but I will be sharing that another day.

Nevaehs pick

A t-shirt with a cat on it

A hair band with cat ears

Flip flops

Summer shoes for church/dresses

Yovannahs pick

A t-shirt with a cat and a bird

Flip flops

Summer shoes for church/dresses

Do you ever shop at H & M ? Or do you have another place that you always shop from ? 
What do you think about what my girls picked ?

I'd love to hear from you.


Friday, May 20, 2016

Fashion Friday; high heels.

I am not a fashionista but I do like nice clothes a lot. If you've seen  my last What I wore Wednesday post, you have probably realized that I don't buy new clothes really often. I really own a lot of second hand clothes. Some bought, some of them I got for free.

I don't really wear high heels a lot. But I do have one pair that I wear to church on most Sundays.
Since I really can't walk on really high spike heels, these are kind of 'block heels',so I can walk on them without any problems. I can't have them on for very long though, when I have to stand or walk a lot. They really start to hurt very terribily after some time.

I do love high heels though. They look nice and feminine. And I think with some outfits they would really fit nicely. The other day I had a lace top on and I thought that it would be nice to wear it with heels. And I also thought that it would be nice to try and practise walking on heels.
I searched online and it got me so excited. All of a sudden I saw so many shoes that I liked and would've liked to have, that I could really imagine why some people love shoes so much and why some people really own a lot of them.

I didn't buy any of them though. Not yet.

I really like this one.

They are called "Cutiepie Mary Jane pumps" . I saw them on the webshop Topvintage

I think that they would look nice with my lace top.

What do you think ? Do you wear high heels ?

I would love to hear from you.


Thursday, May 19, 2016

A little bit of garden inspiration

One of the things that I don't like about being (a) (reasonably new) single (mum) is that you have to do everything yourself and/or on your own. I guess that is why a lot of things still have not been done in my house. That and the lack of a savings account. But seriously, I don't even have my curtains hanging the way they should. And I guess I would have had that done, if there was a man living here in the house or if someone would have showed me how.
I counted on my mum -who used to be a single mum at some time too and who to me seemed to be able to do just anything and who was here in the Netherlands on a holiday a few months ago- to teach me how to be an independent single mum and direct me in how to hang up my blinds but unfortunately it didn't happen. My blinds are still in the same plastic packaging as they have been for a couple of months now. They are now waiting for me to make an appointment with a 'handy man' who then also will do some painting in my house and hang up my curtains on rails.
It is a bit frustrating at times, especially when my kids have once again been playing in my bed room at the window and then to come in my bed room and see that there is no curtain hanging at my window. Because they accidently pulled the curtains a bit too hard and then one of the hooks which was attached to a hook in the wall with a cord, broke.

Last month I tried to make an appointment with a handy man who did my floor downstairs but I did not hear back from him, so I will try again this month and hopefully I will be able to get that out of the way.

We moved in this wonderful place last year -read about it here.- and I was delighted that we have a garden. I always loved having a garden. I also love planting stuff and last year, I delighted myself with the little gardens that the girls could use at the Kids farm, close to where we lived, when we were staying in an apartment. We planted sunflower seeds and we were amazed at how big they became. Everybody talked about them and loved them, we were told and ofcourse we felt a little proud of these beautiful huge flowers that we had planted in our little garden.

sunflowers growing at the garden at the kids farm

So it is nice that now we have our own garden in this place that we are renting.
The only thing is, I have hardly looked at it. My brother took out some weed at the start but after that, I left it completely as it was for months. Only after Christmas I tried to plant our tiny Christmas tree in it but it does not seem to be going very well. And I also planted a rose plant in it, which isn't in great condition either.
It somehow is as if I'm not too lucky with plants, apart from the ones in the gardens at the kids farm.
But then I saw something in a supermarket that I wanted for a long time. An apple tree. Well, a thin trunk with roots, with some branches. No leaves or anything on it. So a beginning apple tree. It stayed in the living room for a while until one day I thought , now it is time to try and put it in the ground. I tried to understand the instructions that came with it, which consisted only of a set of pictures and I thought that I understood that it needed to get out of the plastic bag and then in a bucket with water. (Ixora what do you see on the picture? Is there really water in the bucket ?) And that I then had to make a big hole, put the plant in it and put the water in it too. Just in case, I searched for a youtube video and it gave me the confidence to plant the tree in the ground.

So I did and was praying that something good would happen with it. It stayed the same for a few days, weeks and all of a sudden leaves started to grow on it. I'm so delighted. I might need another tree for it to eventually get apples but I'm really happy with how the tree is growing. Praise God !

For the rest, my garden is currently full of weeds that keep growing like crazy.
In Ireland the girls used to have a bouncy castle in the garden and we left it with my mum in Suriname, but it finally got shipped and it will be delivered in the weekend, so it is time to start looking at the garden and think about what we are going to do with it.
I saw a picture on facebook of someones garden which was posted in a facebook group that I joined and it made me think: I would love that idea.
Close to the house there are tiles and I would love to have some nice garden furniture there, with pillows and all and I'd love to have grass in some part of my garden and then plant some flowers and vegetables on a small piece at the left side of the garden.
I decided to look online for some inspiration.
And I'm sharing a few ideas that I like.


What I like is the bench with pillows and the neat grass mat.


I'm liking the bench with pillows with table and the cosiness. 


I like how there is a bit of a separation between the sitting area and the neat grass mat.

It is all kind of the same idea. A tiny bit of a 'livingroom outside' idea. For me it would mean, cleaning the tiles and adding a wooden bench with some cosy pillows. Maybe a table. And then getting rid of the weed and looking at the possibility of adding sand (there somehow is some sand missing ) and maybe planting grass on it. It would be handy to have some male working on this too but I think that I am up for the challenge and that by the grace of God I can 'cosy up' the garden a little bit.

It is getting warmer now, so the girls are spending a lot of time outside now and then at least they would have somewhere cosy to sit when taking a break from jumping on the bouncy castle or playing with something else. And if they have friends over, they can sit too. The only thing I worry about a little is the rain. But we will see how it goes.

What does your garden look like ? I would love to hear from you.


Wednesday, May 18, 2016

What I wore Wednesday : dresses

I decided to finally do a What I wore Wednesday post again.
I will be sharing two outfits that I've had on over the last days in which I have been doing the 30 day challenge of wearing dresses and skirts. Read about it here .

When I was in Ireland I used to love going to the carboot sale to pick up cheap stuff and I often shopped there for clothes.

I got the dress that I am wearing in the picture below, on the carboot sale together with two different dresses for 1 euro. I did not wear it for ages but since I don't have a lot of dresses and skirts and I am trying to do this challenge, I had to give it a try.
It is really short, so I always wear it with pants. I chose black dress pants since they seemed the best match. The top from the dress is from t-shirt material and the dress is more cotton- like but very soft and it has pockets. The colours are dark-blue and white.
I also bought the brown jack on the carboot sale but it was new and so I paid about 8 euro for it.
It is made of leather look material with pockets and buttons.

This dress is also from the carboot sale and I got it for 2 euro.  I had it on to go to church. It is a little silky in the colour silver, with tiny beads on it. The dress is from A wear. It is also above the knee so I've paired it up with different black dress pants. I am also wearing a black top under it with long sleeves made out of chiffon.

What have you been wearing lately ? I would love to see it.
If you have a post about it, please share it in the comments.

Linking up with The Pleated Poppy.


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