Skip to main content

Follow this blog with bloglovin

Follow on Bloglovin

The stairs

I have never been in favor of spanking children, even though the bible mentions it. But unfortunately I can’t say that my girls never have gotten a slap, but it has really been more reserved for special circumstances like when they kept going on and on with wrong behaviour despite warnings or they had done something absolutely crazy or dangerous or other situations where I felt really desperate enough, like them making loads of noise in the night when we were staying in someone elses house. But I normally feel bad about it. I just don't like hurting anyone and especially a child, even though it is a way to correct them. 
Unfortunately, children are children and they don’t always listen or sometimes do something naughty or bad.  When Ixora was 2 and we were living on our own, I started to use the time out method. When she repeatedly would not listen, I would send her in time out in the hall. Then we moved to Ireland and moved in with others and in cases like that I don’t feel that I can use that method well because the child might protest and cry and that would make me feel really bad that I would disturb someone in the house. So I don’t feel that I can discipline well around others.  And later I did not think about this method anymore.  Years later I happened to see  a few episodes of Super nanny and I liked her ideas of time out and over the years I have tried it a few times but I never really kept using it.
The time out method also came up when I talked to a parenting expert but again I was living with other people at that stage, so I could not really use it.
At a certain stage, I started using a countdown when the girls did not want to listen. I then say : ’ I ‘m counting till 5. ‘ and then I started counting  ; 1, 2, 3,…….And for some reason, that really started to work.  I used it a lot and it helped me get the required result: make them stop doing what I don’t want them to do and/or start listening to me.
We are now living on our own and a while back, I started to use the stairs as a place for time out.
It has turned out to be a good way to discipline  the girls. It especially helped me a lot when I would be really angry. When you are angry, you have to be careful that you don’t react by slapping.  But I noticed that the stairs really helped me.  Sending them to the stairs just felt enough. There would be no problem for them ‘sitting their time out ‘ either, because they knew that they had done something wrong and that you were angry at them and they didn’t mind sitting in time out to think things over and to get ready to repent and say sorry.
Because I guess. that is really what it is about. That the child gets the chance to calm down, think things over and then gets to discuss the issue with the parent, say sorry and receive forgiveness from the parent. All with the hope that they will learn from it and that the next time, they won’t do it again or that they will listen more quickly.
The girls are getting more used to the stairs now since I am using it more and more.



I use it for instance when certain rules are not being followed. Yovannah sometimes has a hard time to control her emotions and then she can scream really loud and throw a chair on the floor.
Then I say; ‘You know that that is not allowed  in here’ and then I send her to sit on the stairs.
So I am not really using the same method from super nanny. I also normally don’t leave them on the stairs for a long time. It is a correction method, a principle : ‘You are not following the rules, so you need to live with the consequences.’
I lately added other forms of punishment though, like no dessert or not allowing them on play dates for a while.  I see that it seems to help, so I’m really pleased with that. Slaps are really very rare and even though some people might think differently about slapping, I personally feel better disciplining through time outs and taking certain privileges away.

What is your favourite method to discipline your children ? What works best for you ?

I would love to hear from you.



Love.




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Never have I ever...

Today it is Sunday, so it is time for another fun post. I decided to do a ' never have I ever' post.

Never have I ever run a full marathon .....but I ran a half marathon for women once in Dublin.

Never have I ever owned a brand new car ......but I owned two second hand ones, even though I only had an Irish learner drivings license.

Never have I ever had a book published...... even though I am intending to do that one day.

Never have I ever traveled to the United States......., even though I hope to have that happen some day.

Never have I ever gotten a baby boy........, but this would really be a dream come true.

Never have I ever had a dream wedding.....,  but I am believing that this is still possible.




Never have I ever gone skiing....., but I hope to give it a try one day.

Never have I ever swum with dolphins......., but this looks like an amazing thing to do.

Never have I ever had a baby shower......., even though this seems very cool to experience.




Never have I ever owned …

It's Summer time / Giveaway (closed)

It’s officially Summer here in Ireland, even though most of the time  it is hard to see it when you look outside. There are days when there have been some sunny spells but the sun has been hiding behind dark clouds on most of those days as well. This week it's supposed to be a good week weather wise.  A few weeks ago the sun was shining since the morning and after dropping the two older girls at school, I decided to take Nevaeh for a walk to the park close by and to feed the ducks. On the way to the park the sun was so much in my eyes that I decided to stop at the Dunnes Stores and get sun glasses. Since Nevaeh was so interested in mine I got her some too. Mini mouse ones. She loves them. The week after, it was the turn for the older girls to get sun glasses. Hello Kitty ones for Yovannah. And pink, sparkly ones for Ixora. They really love their sun glasses and wear them on sunny days.






Since this post is post nr. 60 of my blog I decided to do a little give away.
I still have a s…

Nevaehs Summer Bucket list

Unfortunately, it seems that this year the Autumn weather has started earlier than last year. And so I finally wanted to write a blog post to share Nevaehs Summer Bucket list with you.
This Summer, we mostly stayed in the Netherlands. We only went to Germany to visit Moviepark Germany for two days. At the beginning of the break, the girls entertained themselves by playing games and watching youtube video’s on their tablets and laptop. This bothered me a bit, so one evening I called them all together to sit down and told them to make a bucketlist for the Summer. The first one to finish was allowed to have the last bit of ice cream. Nevaeh can already write a little bit but I told her that she could draw instead. So she made a bucketlist with 10 items on it. The actual bucket list got lost somewhere but we memorized what was on it and I’m glad to say that she has been able to do all the items on it.
So here is Nevaehs Summer Bucket List.
1 Go to the playground

We never went to an outdoor one b…